feelings

I've been low this week. I think the conference made the future of caregiving realer to me, plus I feel that expecting John to do some things himself without me urging him isn't going very well. Yesterday a friend told me how when she was 17 and caregiver for her mother with multiple sclerosis, she said "I can't do it any more" and her mother took an overdose of sleeping pills. I was able to talk about that with my peer group of spiritual directors today and I said: "When the synchronicity is that strong what can you do besides remember to breathe?" If I can synthesize the answer I heard, it was that we can trust God to guard some thread of meaning in our lives.