This is the story of Pam and John; she in her early 50’s and John is 62. Pam is a college professor. John taught at a local community college until diagnosed with Parkinson’s in March 2008, then Lewy Body Dementia in April.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008


John got some things done today, but only because I went over with him what needed to be done and because he felt pressured by me. I've been feeling discouraged that my idea that he can take responsibility for some things himself (with a little reminding by me) just isn't going to work.

I finally came to more understanding of the situation while talking to my spiritual director this afternoon. This is a stage where John can still do things but needs lots of coaxing and help from me. It is a particularly hard stage for me, because it would be easier just to do many of these things myself. Also, for me helping someone else takes a lot of emotional energy. For example, I have to say aware of whether he does a task I have reminded him of and decide when would be a good time to remind him again or how to try to get him started. This isn't a stage that fits my strengths but it is where we are at--we are not yet to the stage where it is appropriate for me to just take over (which will actually fit my strengths better).

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