This is the story of Pam and John; she in her early 50’s and John is 62. Pam is a college professor. John taught at a local community college until diagnosed with Parkinson’s in March 2008, then Lewy Body Dementia in April.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

John is home

John left Monday to go to New York city for a wine tasting, returned Friday. He was very happy with the wine tasting (and went to another) and he had one unsuccessful day of museums and one successful day. He came back saying he had had a wonderful trip.

I don't drink so I didn't wish I had gone. But it is hard that he does so well when he travels on his own, then comes home and is negative and confused. On Friday our son had had a driving lesson and done testing to evaluate his ADHD. John got mixed up three times in half an hour about which one our son had gone off to do that evening. And yesterday he was having particular trouble finding the word he wanted and sometimes used the wrong word without realizing it.

I think he is in a stage where he can hold it together when he is doing something he wants to do, but it is tiring so he doesn't do so well when he gets home. It makes sense that he would be awfully tired after a trip but I do get frustrated sometimes that he can't put together that kind of effort when it isn't all about him. On the other hand, I'm glad he is taking responsibility for his own happiness.

I've been deep in house renovations. After they cut a hole in the roof the carpenter and I batted ideas back and forth and ended up more than doubling the size of the dormer. He says I should take the attic room as my bedroom, it is going to be so nice. He also came up with a better idea for how to fix the staircases, which weren't to code. John initially didn't like the tile I had picked for his bathroom, but we went to Lowes to look at other alternatives and he decided he liked it after all when he saw it on a wall from a distance. So many decisions to make.

John and I walked around the badly overgrown lot with a friend who is a professor of horticulture and he told us what to save and what to cut down. I'm not good about asking for help, but I did and he was wonderfully helpful. John is eager to go after the poison ivy--something he has always gotten obsessed about. I think he also took in that our friend liked the house.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

different directions

John is in New York city for a wine tasting and to go to museums. I've settled down so much about how he is doing, and I don't think he has lost much in the last year.
I'm very busy with the house we are renovating:

The first task is a new dormer for the attic.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


Our son's graduation from high school is today. John came up Friday to attend the celebration of seniors. I told him one of us needed to attend and he reluctantly agreed, but it sounds like he enjoyed it. I stayed home because my mother and daughter were flying in Friday evening and to do my favorite local triathlon Saturday morning. We all met for the award ceremony Sat night, where our son got the drama award. It is rainy this morning so graduation in the gym.

-- Post From My iPod

Monday, May 11, 2009


Trying to get John's aunt moved this week. She holds onto stuff worse than John. And I spent much of today dealing with the house we are renovating. I'm glad I was there when the rental manager went through--I don't think the students will be getting their security deposit back. Tired.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


The meeting to sign the contract for renovations on the other house just got postponed until tomorrow, when we are also meeting with the realtor to sign the papers and list this house. And John's aunt Florence got a place in assisted living, so she will be moving out of her apartment in the next few weeks. The assisted living place smaller, but it is still a one bedroom apartment, so I don't know how much stuff she will be giving us. The timing is actually fairly good in terms of needed to focu on her--at least we've pretty much finished getting this house ready to show. But more things to deal with...

Saturday, May 2, 2009


Thursday John avoided actually working with the woman who was supposedly helping him declutter for three hours, before he finally started with her in his office (she worked on other things, but his things are most pressing). The good news is that he acknowledges that he wouldn't be getting it done without her. And she is beginning to get him to accept the idea that someone else might do the things he does his way, such as his laundry.

We had someone take a load to the dump and it has become more visible that we have made a lot of progress. And we are taking over 10 boxes of books to a booksale tomorrow.