This is the story of Pam and John; she in her early 50’s and John is 62. Pam is a college professor. John taught at a local community college until diagnosed with Parkinson’s in March 2008, then Lewy Body Dementia in April.


Thursday, August 14, 2008


Two nonstop days of random stuff. I'm tired and discouraged. After sounding last night like he was getting into the idea of moving, John told our daughter today that he is going along with the idea because once I get something in my head nothing will shake me. And our son finally paid attention (after not being interested in going to look at the house earlier in the week) and wasn't happy that he won't have a room that is all his own. I've got too many things to do and less than a week before classes start.

I read an article on caregiver resentment today (page 5 here). At this stage I have plenty of time away from caregiving. But I have mixed feelings about the advice to take control. That has certainly been my approach, to get things like finances in better order because that is something I have more control over. But there are several dangers to taking control. One is that I might slip into thinking I can control what is at heart an uncontrollable situation. Another is that it is scary and overwhelming to feel responsible for everything--what if I make a mistake? And finally it is simply too much to try to do.

I'm going to take care of myself and go to bed early.

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