This is the story of Pam and John; she in her early 50’s and John is 62. Pam is a college professor. John taught at a local community college until diagnosed with Parkinson’s in March 2008, then Lewy Body Dementia in April.


Saturday, August 9, 2008

enjoying life while he can

John's approach to his diagnosis is to want to make the most of the time he has. That is certainly a lot better than being depressed about it, but it doesn't combine well with my wanting to get everything worked out. I feel burdened trying to organize our future, and he is out having a good time. It doesn't happen very often, but the larger pattern is that he can get done the things he is interested in but not the things he has agreed to do to help me.

Tonight John went out with his wine drinking friend (wine is John's hobby, while I don't drink). I had complained a month ago when he went out when our daughter was home just for a few days, but he didn't think he was wrong. This time the situation is that I have been caring for our son since he had his wisdom teeth out yesterday. John and our daughter didn't even come home from vacation in North Carolina until noontime today. But I can't complain too much because the recovery from oral surgery has gone much more easily for our son than it did for our daughter last fall--he hasn't even taken pain medication today. All I have to do is keep making him smoothies.

1 comment:

pearose said...


Make a big ole smoothie for yourself and remember to enjoy those moments when John is out enjoying himself, too. There will be a time when you'll look back on the days when John could still communicate and enjoy his friendships. Be happy that he is still able to do so without your assistance. I hope he has many more wine-drinking sessions to enjoy. :)

It's all in the perspective and that's your biggest challenge at this point - at least from my perspective. You'll get there and will be what the world needs you to be for a while. I don't know how you prepare for something like this but to just take it one day at a time. You'll adjust as you go and emotional support is just a key stroke away.