acceptance

I feel like I am reaching a place of more acceptance. I said to a friend today that caring for John feels like finishing what I started. We've been together a lot of years and I will see it through. That lets me feel I have some choice, but my reason for my choice is a quiet one, not some crushing obligation or expression of perfect love. I think it helps that I'm beginning to see more of the shape of the stage we are in instead of just finding it confusing. John has planned two trips on his own in September and October. One is to Texas to see a friend and visit his parent's graves. He is finding ways to do things while he still can; I don't have to do it all for him yet.