This is the story of Pam and John; she in her early 50’s and John is 62. Pam is a college professor. John taught at a local community college until diagnosed with Parkinson’s in March 2008, then Lewy Body Dementia in April.


Saturday, July 26, 2008


This is an example of how I get tangled up trying to figure out the answer when there isn't any. The question is whether we should replace our queen bed with twin beds so I don't feel so endangered at night by the REM sleep behavior disorder. But would we get rid of our queen bed?

We have one of those air adjustable beds (a sleep number bed), and I'm fed up with it because my side leaks sometimes (I think the valve sometimes closes properly and sometimes doesn't). I haven't faced calling up the store to get someone to come fix it. It may be out of warranty but it is possible to replace individual parts so it can be fixed to good as new for a fairly low cost. But the problem is only occasional, so I am afraid if they come to fix it it work fine that day and they won't be able to tell what is wrong. Because of his acid reflux and shoulder problems, John has the head of the bed elevated, which I hate because it puts a weird bend in the bed. Will they say that is the problem?

I want to move in a year, and have separate bedrooms then. If we do that do I want to keep the queen bed or have something smaller? My bedroom in the house I want to move back to is fairly crowded with a queen bed. When we move we will have an extra good quality twin bed with trundle. For me to have just a twin bed seems a bit odd, though I really don't need more room (no dogs). But it seems silly to buy a double and have to buy all new sheets.

When we move would we buy John a twin or double air adjustable bed? It has been helpful with his shoulder problems and it seems to me that as it gets harder for him to move around in bed it would be a mistake for him to have the queen bed. Or should he have the queen bed when we move, so it feels like I will still join him there sometimes, and then some day if needed it will be replaced by a hospital bed? Or do we just give him the extra twin, since part of the plan is to get him a really comfortable recliner since he already falls asleep in a chair and spends most of the night there.

It would be possible to not take on the larger issues but just swap our queen bed with the twins in the basement guest room (one is a trundle but pops up and is fairly sturdy). But even that would be a lot of work and it won't help the problem of John waking me up by talking or yelling.

One of my strengths is looking ahead and considering all the ramifications of various possible decisions. But in my present situation I get paralyzed when I do that. Then I'm afraid people will think I'm making a mess of things by thinking too much.


queen air bed said...

Its definitely a tricky situation. It seems to me that based on your post, what makes the most sense would be for you to stick with that twin trundle bed, and to buy John a smaller adjustable air bed since you mentioned it helps with his shoulder. In the end, you need to just go with the decision you feel most strongly about. :)

Stella said...

I can't seem to leave behind the bed issue. When I tend to Mr Freddie or make up my bed or sleep, I feel like Goldilocks in the cottage of the Three Bears,

I need room to turn over and stretch out in my bed. a twin size would be too confining. A queen size would be large for my bedroom. I would rather have more walking space rather than bed space that I would never use. A regular size is just right. You will not be moving for a while. When you do move, you will be needing new sheets anyway and think of the savings when you buy regular sheets instead of queen size.

I tend to needs for Mr Freddie. I think of having to reach far to the middle of a queen size bed. Of course, I administer eye drops four times daily so you probably don't need to consider that, but reaching to replace the Exelon Patch would be quite a stretch. I take his tray to the bedside table, He has a struggle to maneuver from one side of the bed to get to the side where the table is. I suppose I could change the side of the bed by rolling the table to the other side but that would be confusing for him. The movement in the regular size bed gives him exercise of sorts. It is manageable. I think a twin size bed would be more likely to contribute to sore places on his "seat". I think he would tumble out of a twin size bed without rails. If he had rails, he would not be able to help himself to his little bathroom, as he is able to do now. So for him a regular size bed seems just right. When I need his arms around me or I think he needs more closeness than I can give while standing we have room in a regular size bed for a brief bit of comfort. A thunder storm always finds me in his bed.

I have decided that for the long "haul" for us, "This [regular] is just right", as we wait for Mama Bear, Papa Bear, and Little Baby Bear to return from their walk.

It may be different for you.